Aristocrat Appreciator T-Shirts

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Final words on gravestones.

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

Gentleman's Club Scene

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

'New money or old money?'

cayetana de alba

The Duke of Earl meets the Earl of Duke:''Hey, baby, wot's happenin'!' 'Charmed!'

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

Duchess

'I followed the old Wall Street adage and 'sold in May and went away.' That was in '74. Too bad there's no return adage.'

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

"I just love your use of lying"

"So what are you the earl of?"

"You think more of Football than you do of me!", "I think more of Earl Spencer than I do of you!!"

The Frozen Out Fox Hunter (Tobogganing)

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

'Well it's a ransom, sire, but I wouldn't call it a King's Ransom...'

"I may be your page today, but someday, I hope to be the whole book."

"I like the elephant in the room. With his memory he never screws up our lunch order!"

Downtrodden Abbey

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'

"It's Parkins, sir; we're 'aving a bit of a time below stairs."

The Nobility Scooter

Owner: 'Why didn't you ride as I told you? Didn't I tell you to force the pace early and come away at the corner?' Jockey: 'Yes m'Lord, but I couldn't very well leave the horse behind.'

So Sympathetic

"I don't know a damn thing about art, but my back hasn't felt this good in years."

View Down Ladies' Mile

"It's the price we pay for living an alternative lifestyle."