Aquatic Ironist Gifts

Aquatic neurotic: 'It's too wet.'

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

Guide fish.

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

Another hot flash?

"Cat got your tongue?"

Shark Chum

Fish Farm.

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

Artist Misses the Point

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

The Hudson River School of Art.

'No doubt about it we're really lost!...Even GPS says it can't help!'

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

How Lawyers Evolved.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

The synchronized shower event.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

'I'm a Pisces.'

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

'How would you like to be a big star in the circus?'

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

'Say, this is interesting.'

'Sperm Donor Whale.'