Aquatic Ironist Gifts

Aquatic neurotic: 'It's too wet.'

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

Guide fish.

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Shark Chum

"Cat got your tongue?"

Fish Farm.

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

'No doubt about it we're really lost!...Even GPS says it can't help!'

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

The Hudson River School of Art.

Artist Misses the Point

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

How Lawyers Evolved.

The synchronized shower event.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

'I'm a Pisces.'

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

'How would you like to be a big star in the circus?'

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

'Say, this is interesting.'

'Sperm Donor Whale.'

Oddly familiar formation.