Aquarists Gifts

'It's their warm inquisitive eyes I find most unnerving. . .'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

Leak in the fish tank.

"I think it loves us."

"Just water for me, please."

'I wish I was creative'

"Lap fish..."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'So what have you been up to?'

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"Well yes, I'm kind of a farmer now: I farm salmon..."

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

Fish tank filled with sardines.

Tartar sauce.

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

Cat in tank sees fish form letters to spell out, 'Help'.

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

'It's one of life's little miracles!'