Aquarists Pillows

'It's their warm inquisitive eyes I find most unnerving. . .'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Leak in the fish tank.

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"I think it loves us."

'I wish I was creative'

"Just water for me, please."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Lap fish..."

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"Well yes, I'm kind of a farmer now: I farm salmon..."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

'So what have you been up to?'

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

Tartar sauce.

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

Fish tank filled with sardines.

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

Cat in tank sees fish form letters to spell out, 'Help'.

Pet Store: Clown Fish.

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

"Do you think there's life out there?"

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'