Amateur Aquarist Gifts

"'scuse fingers."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Leak in the fish tank.

"I think it loves us."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Just water for me, please."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Fishbowl rebellion.

'I wish I was creative'

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'So what have you been up to?'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

Fish tank filled with sardines.

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

Making fun of Starfish.

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"