Amateur Aquarist Gifts

"'scuse fingers."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Leak in the fish tank.

"I think it loves us."

'I wish I was creative'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Just water for me, please."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'So what have you been up to?'

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'Sorry'

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

Fish tank filled with sardines.

Making fun of Starfish.

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

Pet Store: Clown Fish.

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'