Home Aquarist Gifts

"Are you sure you're in the right place? You smell salty."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Leak in the fish tank.

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"I think it loves us."

"Just water for me, please."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Lap fish..."

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

'I wish I was creative'

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'So what have you been up to?'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

Fish tank filled with sardines.

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

Topical fish have a need to keep up with current events,