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"Are you sure you're in the right place? You smell salty."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Leak in the fish tank.

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"I think it loves us."

"Lap fish..."

'I wish I was creative'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Just water for me, please."

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'So what have you been up to?'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

Fish tank filled with sardines.

Pet Store: Clown Fish.

'Mother was right... You never take me anywhere!'

"Do you think there's life out there?"

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

'Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.'

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"