Aquarium Owner Gifts

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

"I found this place on Waterbnb."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Pets.

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"I think it loves us."

"Lap fish..."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Just water for me, please."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

'I wish I was creative'

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'So what have you been up to?'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'