Aquarium Owner Gifts

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

'Honestly, I leave you alone for just a couple of minutes...'

"I found this place on Waterbnb."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Pets.

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"I think it loves us."

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Lap fish..."

"Just water for me, please."

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

'I wish I was creative'

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

'So what have you been up to?'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'