Appraisal Artist T-Shirts

"It's not that you're a failure. It's that you completely lack the capacity for success."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Modern Major General

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

Nick Cave

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Leonore from Fidelio

Giving feedback is a complex process.

"I've had you appraised."

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

Famous Optical Illusions!

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

Son, I don't think this was how Whistler painted HIS mother.

"Your first thirty days is a probationary period. Following that, we'll review your performance and consider giving you a cubicle with a door!"

"I got replaced by another clown"

'I call it cubicilism'

Rodin's Irish Judge

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

Peter Gabriel

"It's obviously an original."

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

"Can you guess how much it will be worth after you die?"

Flamenco

A Cartoonist's and a Sculptor's File Cabinets.

'I don't think firms need to worry about borrowing money as long as the money is invested wisely.'

Frenchy Fries, one of the world's greatest art forgers

Midway through the show, a seamless switch, from air guitar this Celtic air fiddle.

"I see you like to let your actions do the talking."

'I highly recommend this painting if you're into art as an investment.'

Camouflage Paint.