Appraisal T-Shirts

"Okay, your story checks out. You're not a Peeping Tom, you're just a creepy real estate appraiser."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

Final words on gravestones.

Peacock of Productivity

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

Giving feedback is a complex process.

"You seem to be balancing your workload well."

"I've had you appraised."

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

"Your first thirty days is a probationary period. Following that, we'll review your performance and consider giving you a cubicle with a door!"

"Yes, you do go the extra mile for this company. But you've been going in the wrong direction."

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"I need you to step up to the Mark."

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

"Frankly, your performance has been spotty."

'I've read my appraisal and this is my solicitor - I intend to sue you!'

'I'm giving you a praise. It's not a raise but it will look good on your evaluation.'

'We value you in ways that cannot be expressed in money.'

"What makes you think I've been napping at work?"

Janice had the feeling her boss didn't like her.

'I'm getting mixed signals. First the boss tells me that I never really caught fire around here then he tells me that I suffer from burnout.'

Antiques Store with a bin outside with a sign saying 'Not for Sale'.

Valuation of Heaven

"I just love your use of lying"

"The boss says I've exceeded his low expectations of me!"

"It's way too cerebral. What were you thinking?"

'Well done Flipper, you seem to be balancing your workload well.'

"Done with the evaluations? Great! Now let's evaluate the evaluations!"

"I admire your dogged determination."

'Yes, I know you've been calling here for years trying to get a hold of Mr. Shelton, but he isn't in right now. . . he hasn't returned from his first-ever appraisal!'

'Within the last months, you worked perfectly and I've got nothing to blame you for. Do you hate me for something in particular?'

Ssomething tells me this award has gone to his head!