Appraisals T-Shirts

"I admire your dogged determination."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Presenter Auditions.

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Peacock of Productivity

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

Giving feedback is a complex process.

"You seem to be balancing your workload well."

"I've had you appraised."

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

"Your first thirty days is a probationary period. Following that, we'll review your performance and consider giving you a cubicle with a door!"

Casting Director

Ventriloquist Audition

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"Yes, you do go the extra mile for this company. But you've been going in the wrong direction."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"That's excellent, Caroline!"

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"I need you to step up to the Mark."

"Frankly, your performance has been spotty."

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

"This is a blind audition, right?"

She's a natural.