Appraisal Artist Gifts

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Modern Major General

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Leonore from Fidelio

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Giving feedback is a complex process.

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

"I've had you appraised."

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

Famous Optical Illusions!

"Your first thirty days is a probationary period. Following that, we'll review your performance and consider giving you a cubicle with a door!"

"It's obviously an original."

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"I got replaced by another clown"

Rodin's Irish Judge

'I call it cubicilism'

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

A Cartoonist's and a Sculptor's File Cabinets.

Flamenco

"I see you like to let your actions do the talking."

"Can you guess how much it will be worth after you die?"

Midway through the show, a seamless switch, from air guitar this Celtic air fiddle.

'I don't think firms need to worry about borrowing money as long as the money is invested wisely.'

Frenchy Fries, one of the world's greatest art forgers

'I highly recommend this painting if you're into art as an investment.'

Camouflage Paint.

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."