Art Evaluator T-Shirts

"The selection committee turned down my painting as 'tribe and banal' but they'd like to exhibit the envelope I sent it in."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Misunderstood artist

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Scarpia's Palace

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

Juggler and Illusionist

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

Artist on the Beach

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Leonore from Fidelio

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Leaves falling out of a painting.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

Ariana Grande caricature

Coot on a jetty

Dolly Varden - 'The Laughing Dolly'