Art Evaluator Prints

"The selection committee turned down my painting as 'tribe and banal' but they'd like to exhibit the envelope I sent it in."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Misunderstood artist

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Scarpia's Palace

Juggler and Illusionist

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Leonore from Fidelio

Artist on the Beach

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Leaves falling out of a painting.

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

Ariana Grande caricature

Coot on a jetty

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

Dolly Varden - 'The Laughing Dolly'

Evolution or Creation? A Compromise