Applying For Financial Aid Gifts

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

'Nice try with the scraggly outfits. However, I saw you pull up in the 2007 Mercedes CL 550'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"I'm a good risk for a business loan because I put 110% effort into my business."

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

State U. He procrastinated and is now trying to do all the work for his middle English literature class in a couple of days. "Canterburied," is he?!

The timing doesn't work for eco-club to start a garden. I have a better idea. Build a compost bin. You can recycle the school's leaves and grass clippings. You'll have good soil for a garden next spring. That's not enough time for college admissions essays. Write about the trauma of delayed gratification. Never heard of it.

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"Of course I'm not quitting school, Dad! If anything, I've learned that if you want to succeed, you need passion and leadership and a whatever-it-takes attitude!"

The bane of every college applicant: the admissions essay.

"How much do you need?"

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

I'm freaking out! Thursday is dress rehearsal. Nerves? Work! I've got a math and history test on Friday. Why did I ever sign up for the spring musical? Because it's fun? West Fester High School. On my college application it'll look like I had fun. It'll go with your "Looks aren't important" essay.

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

Chère Maman

"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."

'How much do you want?' - 'How much have you got?'

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

1/2 Full Foundation: Optimists only need apply.

"Do you have any other form of collateral?"