Applying For Scholarships Gifts

1/2 Full Foundation: Optimists only need apply.

'Here's the deal - whoever draws the high card gets funded.'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Continuing education.

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Bribes for Jabs

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

State U. He procrastinated and is now trying to do all the work for his middle English literature class in a couple of days. "Canterburied," is he?!

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

Pinara fund

Scenes we'd most like to see...

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"Of course I'm not quitting school, Dad! If anything, I've learned that if you want to succeed, you need passion and leadership and a whatever-it-takes attitude!"

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'