Scholarship Application Gifts

Hoping to convince the university that he is worthy of a wrestling scholarship, Nick pins the director of admissions in 13 seconds.

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Continuing education.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Bribes for Jabs

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

Scenes we'd most like to see...

Pinara fund

Baseball players and their qualifications.

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

Student Debt

1/2 Full Foundation: Optimists only need apply.

'Don't ask me what play to call..I've only got a one year contract...you've got a four year scholarship...you decide what play to call.'

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

Hey, Twig! Why so blue? Everyone's into awesome stuff this summer. Math camps. Leadership programs. Studies abroad. A bunch of resume padders. Yeah, They're grinds. What about you? Nothing special. Just volunteering. Where? At a rain forest project in Costa Rica. That's look so lame on your college application.

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

Roads Scholar

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."