Seeking Financial Aid Gifts

"Why can't you give me a student loan? I'm a student."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Continuing education.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Bribes for Jabs

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"I'm a good risk for a business loan because I put 110% effort into my business."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

Pinara fund

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"Your entire business plan is to get a loan from me?"

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

"How much do you need?"

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

Chère Maman

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

Student Debt