Seeking Financial Aid Pillows

"Why can't you give me a student loan? I'm a student."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Continuing education.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"I'm a good risk for a business loan because I put 110% effort into my business."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

Pinara fund

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

"Your entire business plan is to get a loan from me?"

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

"How much do you need?"

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

Student Debt

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'