Apple Munchers Gifts

'Geez! Relax, Irene... I fell asleep eating an apple.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

Aliens watch the earth explode

Barry Norman

The Directors Gut.

Adam and Eve in Paradise

"This gives me a remarkable idea - tempered only by the realization that Archimedes, discovered the principle of specific gravity 200 years ago."

Flava Superba

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

Isaac Newton discovered gravity and his neighbour Wilbus discovered Apple Sauce.

'Any more napkins, Hon? Annie's got cone leakage.'

Updated History: Sir Isaac Newton. A body at rest tends to remain at rest ... unless an apple falls on its head. Of course, this is just a first draft.

Gamers

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

'Forget about it. What's to say that Frobisher's apples are any better than the hedge fund he used to run?'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

"Hang on - this one's a Malteser!!"

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

"You're right. Watching them celebrate freedom before we abduct them is fun."

Theater Usher Moms.

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

Cake!

Castaway with popcorn holds up sign: 'SEND DENTAL FLOSS'.

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

What Newton didn't see

Thoughtful kiddies' midnight snacks overtax my bulging slacks … The load I haul back to my shack is bigger than the one I packed.

'That's Newton's brother Fig...intelligent designer.'

"Now, … In place, run run as fast as you can."

Harper takes steps to ensure Canada's arctic sovereignty.

'Dude, seriously...Turn down the A.C.'

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.