Apple Appreciator T-Shirts

'How Sir Isaac Newton discovered swing bowling'

The discovery of gravity is put on hold after a chance encounter by William Tell and Isaac Newton.

Think Positive!

"Those usually go on my desk, Mr Dudley."

'Would my grades improve if I brought you a tip jar instead of an apple?'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Intelligent people laugh too!

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Tree Passion

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

Surreal ale

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

The earlier, less publicized discovery of gravity by Corblatt.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

Newton discovers anti-gravity,

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

They can't all look like sheep butts.

"I like to stay on top of things."

Adam and Eve in Paradise

Johnson was ready to lick some ass

Flava Superba

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

"This gives me a remarkable idea - tempered only by the realization that Archimedes, discovered the principle of specific gravity 200 years ago."

"What the... an apple?! Hey, I can make schnapps out of it and if you've had plenty of it, gravity pulls you to the ground!"

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."

'Isaac Newton, doing...research.'