Ape Appreciator T-Shirts

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"Bipedalism is a great advance. But now we have to watch out for banana peels."

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

Surreal ale

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

"See? Look what happened to Ook! - I WARNED you about evolution."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

The discovery of gravity is put on hold after a chance encounter by William Tell and Isaac Newton.

"My kid could do that."

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

Way too much anthropomorphising

2 Ohm and 4 Ohm Amps,

Soldier, Statesman, Travel Agent

'Isaac Newton, doing...research.'

'You know, I'm appreciating having long arms more and more as I get older,,,'

"The scientists are coming back to study us, so I want you both to be on your best behaviour this time!"

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'

'That's not funny, Fred.'

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

The Origin of Species

Gorillas in the jungle.

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

"I admire your efforts, but you never should try exercising to rap music!"

'-and she gets headaches every time the doorbell plays our tune.'

'You clumsy ape! I ask for a hemostat and you hand me a banana. Where'd you go to med school, the Bronx Zoo?'

'I suggest you move onto halves...'

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

'How Sir Isaac Newton discovered swing bowling'

Think Positive!