App Lovers Pillows

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Isn't there an app for this?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

'I need a life saving app. I need a life saving app.'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

All the apps hidden within a phone

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'Normally, this project would require weeks of research and verification...but luckily there's an app for it.'

God's Phone

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

Today's love

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"I've downloaded an app to hire and fire people."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"I put an app on your phone that punches you in the face every time you eat junk food. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind."

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."