App Fanatic Pillows

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Well, you know what they say...geo-location, geo-location, geo-location!"

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Evolution.

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

"Pokemon...Pokemon...Pokemon...."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'I need a life saving app. I need a life saving app.'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

All the apps hidden within a phone

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

'Normally, this project would require weeks of research and verification...but luckily there's an app for it.'

God's Phone

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."