Apothecary Gifts

"It's inflation, Miss Borgia - too much money chasing too few poisons."

'Now in Capulets'

'I'm sorry but we can't trade your soul for a cure for the common cold. We don't have a cure for the common cold either.'

Boy and horse rider

Romeo goes to the Chemists

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Thank you, Essential Workers

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

Fighting the Pandemic

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Booster shots

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'