Athletic Apothecary Gifts

RX baseball hat

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

Runner going through hurdles.

'Now in Capulets'

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

Side Effects

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

'Have you got anything for late onset whimsy?'

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"I might suggest Ritalin."

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

Romeo goes to the Chemists

'I don't understand why you don't want to take your daily medication.'

The over-the-counter versions

'I own Acme Drug stock, so fill this prescription with their product.'

'My portfolio is doing well after they injected it with the right combination of pharmaceuticals.'

'It's not quite ready. Come back in 15 minutes.'

I won THAT Pulitzer for a drug name.

"It's inflation, Miss Borgia - too much money chasing too few poisons."