Athletic Advisor Gifts

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

Ethics exam cheater.

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Continuing education.

U of Debt

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

All Hail the Matriarchy

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Pole Vault Rules

Cristiano Ronaldo

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

First Prize!

The Giamatti era

Snail Coach

Multitasking executive dog

'Will that be coach?'

101 uses of a dead cat: spring board.

'Sounds like it'll flop.'

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"Improve your geography results, Perkins or you're history!"

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

Coach Prime Cleans House

"I love college."