Athletic Adviser Gifts

'Being a great lineman is 90 percent strength and 600 percent technique.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

First Prize!

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

Pole Vault Rules

Cristiano Ronaldo

No caption

Runner going through hurdles.

'Will that be coach?'

'That's a personal foul, roughing the passer!'

'Sounds like it'll flop.'

101 uses of a dead cat: spring board.

Multitasking executive dog

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

Game In A Can.

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

Snail Coach

"Easy on the fast balls, will you, kid?"

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'What are the chances? I mean, all 10 players simultaneously dive for a loose ball and conk heads?'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Coach Prime Cleans House

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

'Steeee-rike three!'

Our coaches are from top college teams. Questions. Why aren't you in training? Sports Camp. Rotator cuff injury. Concussion. Back surgery. Counselor. Ok, campers. Let's show them what you've got! Excellent health insurance card representation!