Fitness Advisor Gifts

"No, Harry, shaking ketchup on your burger and chips twice a day cannot be counted as exercise."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

On the back of the t-shirt...

Be Healthy

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Running

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

Yoga.

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

Dog stretching before a walk.