Fitness Critic Gifts

"I hate this time of year."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

Sawdust.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'We believe it was at THIS point that the species became extinct.'

"Good coffee."

'My Dad stays in shape watching other people exercise.'

Health Foods

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

'Now that's more like it.'

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

"IT's a radical new diet I'm developing. I knock out all your teeth so you can't eat and therefore you lose weight."

"Your mother eats all the wrong foods."

'I had to report it. Based on your lifestyle, your heart attack was premeditated.'

"Daddy is fiscally buff."

'I suggest you go easy on the fast food.'

'This one comes with it's own garage sale sign.'

Obesity: Mechanical & Biological.

'Bud's body is in a pretty good shape; it's his mind that needs work.'

'You need an exercise program other than bar-hopping.'

'It's finally happened - no fats, no sugar, no colouring, no ingredients whatsoever!'

"Yes... I'd like to cancel my membership to the company fitness program immediately."

Health Club: For Regular People

"He's on the paleo diet."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise in a car at a gym.