Fitness Equipment Critic Gifts

'This one comes with it's own garage sale sign.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Be Healthy

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

Running

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

The rock caricature

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

Brad Pitt

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Exercising

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

Dog stretching before a walk.

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Exercise now!

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."