Tv Fitness Critic Gifts

'My Dad stays in shape watching other people exercise.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"I hate this time of year."

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

Gym Paperboy.

'Like it'll do any good.'

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

'You get the diet book which you won't read, the exercise bar which you won't use and the workout CD which you won't watch, for only $29.99.'

'Ew! It's got FAT on it.'

City Health Club - Ask about our no more than necessary exercise class.

'Now they're saying exercise doesn't cure depression.'

Animal Aerobics

'...Isn't keeping fit fun...?'

'That treadmill was used only one time, I swear.'

'I got this fat by sitting around watching excercize video tapes.'

Prescription Diet

His six pack must be all of six hundred-plus nowadays!

Fitness is for Wimps

'Talk about boring...these exercise programs all have the same plot.'

"Let's face it: Life can be life threatening."

"I canceled my membership, but they keep withdrawing money. I've lost 15 pounds so far fighting them in court."

'When we dated, most of his body was athletic. Now he's down to just athlete's foot.'

'Here, hold my dentures.'

"I've taken inches off my waist since I stopped squeezing from the bottom."

'This exercise machine does away with the pretense of a working out. It features a dozen hooks for a hanging clothing.'

'Don't be afraid to crowd the plate.'

"It's a new diet book. You can't eat until you finish reading a chapter."

'... This is a jogging path and I clocked you at a dead run...'