Fitness Video Commentator Gifts

'Talk about boring...these exercise programs all have the same plot.'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Bench Press Accident

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Robber on treadmill

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"I hate this time of year."

Pelobong

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Still on your left."

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

Jeff was watching his weight.

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

Shop signs: then vs. now

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'My Dad stays in shape watching other people exercise.'

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

'If you can't get me buff can you at least make me cuddly?'

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

Pontius Pilates

Can't touch my toes without bending my knees, doctor!

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

Plan B

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."