Athletics Coach Gifts

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

'I do think we might have relaxed our 'No Smoking' policy on this one occasion, Mr. Crips. . .'

'Next time aim to vault OVER the bar.'

"Now, Chalmers, imagine you're a particle whizzing round the Hadron Collider..."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Portrait of a Lady"

Church for sports worshipers.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Go team!

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"I AM at my usual position."

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

Snooker Golf.

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Saving a Heart