Amateur Pharmacist Gifts

Immodiu, Ibruprofen, Clarityn, Sudofed, Paracetemol, Nurofen, Rennies, Diareze... - 'What are you doing?' - 'Packing for my holiday to Egypt.' - 'How ill are you planning on being, exactly?' - 'Ah, that reminds me... can I borrow a bucket from you for a

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

"The pH level seems a little off."

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"Still life with fruit and terribly drawn fish"

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

'If this elixir works, I see an over-the-counter version in three years.'

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

Side Effects

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

'I'm sorry my little Towser misbehaved himself.'

"So which bit do you think was 'nature' and which 'nurture'?"

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

'Here are our hot new drugs for fall.'

'Have you got anything for late onset whimsy?'

An association for the advancement of science on an excursion.

"I might suggest Ritalin."

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'I'll put one end of the hose in your pool...you take the other end outside...gravity will create a siphon and drain the water with no mess.'

'I don't understand why you don't want to take your daily medication.'

"The sleeping pills take time to work. Don't expect results overnight."

"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

"I heard they make glass from sand but I have no idea where to begin."

"This drug has such pleasant side effects I consider them value-added."

Spring Cleaning