Kitchen Pharmacist Gifts

"Take on an empty stomach? Don't you have anything I can take with food?"

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

2021

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Thank you, Essential Workers

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'