Apocalyptic Gift Seeker Pillows

Doomsday marketing

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Ball as water-melon.

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Santa's Helpers

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"Roadkill cookies"

"Pass that."

International House of Excrement

Regifts of the Magi

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"What seems to be the problem?"

'...You're just not built to take selfies.'

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

'I foresee an and to our global troubles ... The world will end tomorrow.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Traffic calming ahead.