Apocalyptic Gift Seeker Gifts

Doomsday marketing

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Ball as water-melon.

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Santa's Helpers

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Roadkill cookies"

"Pass that."

International House of Excrement

Regifts of the Magi

Fish mobsters.

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

'...You're just not built to take selfies.'

"What seems to be the problem?"

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Traffic calming ahead.