Apathy Analyst Pillows

Apolitical

Off Duty.

"Nihilistic customer service"

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Are you talking down to me, Evans? Because I don't like it when people talk down to me."

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

Hypochondria Hospital

Postcards from Heaven...

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

"I hope your day is going bad."

'Earth became too small. I had to opt for a bigger planet for hell.'

"Your contact tracing revealed that you have no life."

Damned if you do...

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

'If you're a public servant, what does that make ME?'

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

Chernobyl, 30th anniversary

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

'So do I get the job or not?'

Possible Merger Talks