Apathetic Scholar Pillows

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The Bookworm

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"God works in mysterious ways."

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"Nihilistic customer service"

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

'People, get a half-life!'

'I failed history again. I guess those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

"He's in first grade. He'll get to Zs."

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

I hate group projects

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

Two uses for ten minutes in America.

"It's a helmet cam. This way I won't miss out on anything if I fall asleep."

"Nice try, but learning by osmosis is not a thing."

'I'm going, but if school didn't have a 'Kids Get In Free' policy...'

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"Why Americans don't vote"

'And I see you have a degree from the University of Wikipedia...'

"I wonder if there are any biscuit left?"

Election 'Dunvotin'

Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a ro

Parents of student:'Shh George is revising!'

"Not so much a 'Don't know' more a 'Couldn't Care Less'."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me I've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the Middle Ages is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt with her