Apathy Humorist Pillows

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

"I'm having a bad forehead day."

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

Shy Man at Party

Safe harbour

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

"Personally, I never take anything but aspirin."

"Last year I didn't meet any of my work goals, so this year my goal is to fail at everything"

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

Pre-minstrel Tension.

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

"My body was a temple, now it's the Acropolis."

No Presents Until Christmas Day

"Surprising me- that's your life's work."

'Loser on Board'

"I think the man in the corner may have the covid."

"We will begin with Schubert's 'Unfinished' Symphony, and that will be followed by Beethoven's 'Unwanted Sexual' Overture."

"Society is so PC these days - I can't even poke fun at myself without offending someone."

'I claim this mountain in the name of all underachievers everywhere!'

Not to do list - Vote.

"If this is going to take long, is there some place I can charge my phone?"

"You finished in there yet?"

"He forgot to record his show, so he had to watch it live. 693 commercials in one hour was too much for him to handle."

Human Cull: People who spend 10 minutes in line for food and only read the menu to make up their mind when they get to the front.

"Look at this grade...I just don't get it! Where is this coming from?"

Environmentally friendly woman putting slug killer down

Wash Cycles.