Apartment Comedians Gifts

Ace Apartments: Absolutely NO beekeeping!

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

My brilliant career

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'Not here - home!'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

Family working together

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

Complaints at the Beehive Condo

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"Ok Watson, what have you dreamed up?"

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

"Want to go watch the people who get to leave at a normal hour?"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

'Don't hesitate to critize me, Herb, whenever I think I am wrong.'

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'