Anxious Motorist Gifts

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

Airplane Mode.

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

Car wash / Mouth wash

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

'I knew I should have bought more insurance.'

'There's that funny squealing again - I think it's coming from your side.'

"Err...When I said straight over at the round-about..."

'Well, here's the problem...that IS his comfort zone.'

Mysteries of Life

'That woke me up, too!'

"I wasn't honking at you! Isn't it obvious I was honking at the guy 10 cars ahead of you?"

Fred prays that he remembered to put on clean underwear that morning.

Height barrier accident.

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

"I think I'm getting road rage."

Dentistry jokes.

Worry about everything that might happen/Me/Be ready for nothing that does happen.

"Tell me if this hurts."

"Dad, how can you teach me how to drive...if you can't even remember that the brakes are on this side?"

'Better slow it down a bit.'

Drink Driving

'Will you stop believing all those rumor about driver's tests?! I'm sure the examiner is perfectly nice and pleasant.'

Dartford Crossing, Pay in Advance for your Inevitable Queue.

Andrew's own nose cuts him off just to spite his face.

'Henry's afraid of Sunday drivers.'

'This massage chair's impossible - all I do is sit there and worry about missing a flight.'

"Take two, twice a day to help control rage. By the way, I put them in a child-proof bottle and overcharged you."

'I believe that laughter is the best medicine. Now, if you'll bend over, Mr. Happy will perform your prostate exam.'

Stop at the next chemist please, I've run out of tranquilizers.

Road sign at busy junction reads: 'Give Up'.