Frustrated Driver Gifts

NO PARKING, from here to eternity.

Car wash / Mouth wash

'How come all the bad drivers follow you around?'

'I just want to know where I can find a parking space in the city centre this afternoon.'

Traffic jam - 'I wish I could go fast enough to get caught by a speed camera.'

Andrew's own nose cuts him off just to spite his face.

Road sign at busy junction reads: 'Give Up'.

Skyrocketing Gas.

Mysteries of Life

Dartford Crossing, Pay in Advance for your Inevitable Queue.

"I think I'm getting road rage."

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'There's that funny squealing again - I think it's coming from your side.'

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

'Price at the pumps.' 'Glass of wine then?'

"Err...When I said straight over at the round-about..."

Road Construction Blues.

"The doctor will bill you now."

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

Man sees boar running down road and yells, 'Road Hog!'

Passing lane ahead - slower traffic speed up.

Road signs.

"May I focus my customer frustration on you with the understanding you're powerless and it's nothing personal?"

"This passport is so weak that I need a visa to enter my own country."

Intelligent Navigation Device...

Excess Baggage: Most taxi drivers have GPS in their cars, but will still get completely lost when you are the passage.

Motorway lane for 'Pricks and idiots only'.