Anxiety Appreciator Pillows

The Scream take its temperature

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"Pencil eraser."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

"You dropped yer wallet."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

Free-Floating Anxiety

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Hell: The Airport"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"You call that worrying?"

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

Teenage Shakespeare

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

Bashful Royal Guard

Parental Anxiety

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

From the tournament of neuroses parade

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.