Anxiety Explorer Pillows

Survival Guides: Fight and Flight.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"He didn't want to go. Probably suffering from a little separation anxiety."

What's that? - 'I've written a list of my anxieties.' - 'To help you tackle them 'head on'?' - 'Err... not exactly.' - 'To help put things in perspective?' - 'I just like writing lists, really.' -

How To Maximise Your Anxiety

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

"Ugh - I always get so ervous when my work goes through pee'er review."

Things That Aren't Problems At All That I Worry About the Most

'I got over my great fear of people...when I stated living in a closed box.'

"How does it make you feel when I'm on the verge of tipping over?"

'It's about my claustrophobia, doctor.'

"So, how are you?"

"On the plus side, worrying about Brexit is stopping people worrying about the end of the world."

'Would it be worse if I died young and healthy or old and decrepit?' - 'Hmmm...' - 'How about young and decrepit?' - '' - 'Why are you here, again?' - 'To help you brainstorm.'

Disappointment

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"Where has the patient gone?"

"You're suffering from hypochondria, Mrs. Gibbs - enjoy."

The Fear of Catching COVID

'So. . . you mean it's all in my head, doc? I only think I'm a hypochondriac?'

"Here - it's an invisible prescription for your imaginary pain."

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

"What other diseases have you seen on TV that you'd like to be reassured you don't have?"

"Another day, another good chance they'll find something hazardous to my health."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

'I've had more fun at the airport.'

Beware of Everything.

"Several of my dreams have come true, doc. Unfortunately, they're all me sitting on a bus in my underwear."

"How do I know my parents want to kick me out of the nest?! They have a calendar and have circled the date!"

"I have an existential dread of falling off your couch."

"I'm scared stiff of missing a morning call and finishing up in a pot like my dad..."

"I'm pretty sure you don't have it, pumpkin. Plus I don't think "reverse nausea" is even a thing."

"You call that worrying?"

Real Confessions

Free-Floating Anxiety