Anti-yogurt Enthusiast Gifts

'My secret for long life? I've always drunk, smoked, made out with women...and hated yogurt.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

How lazy people decide what to eat

Mum! What's for dessert?! - 'Yoghurt!' - 'Vanilla?' - 'Peach Melba.' - 'Don't call childline, don't call childline, don't call childline, don't call childline.' - '' -

"Alas poor yoghurt - I knew it well..."

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

"Dear, will you sprint down to the store and get a box of wheat germ and a pint of yoghurt?"

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

Grocery Store - Warning: Contents may be hazardous to your health

Plane Yogurt.

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

"I'm sorry, Mr. Burke isn't in right now. He ate some funky yogurt he found in the back of the fridge and he's in the bathroom - how shall I put this - promoting from within."

Corporate urban legends

"All right, let's admit genetically-modified foods will have an effect on people. It's fifty-fifty it'll be a good effect."

'No, Neville. I don't think anyone will ever open a burger bar around here. Now, finish your carrion!'

Low fat diets.

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

Who needs Facebook friends when you've got billions of friendly gut bacteria?

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

'You realize, we can't have frozen yogurt EVERY day.'

"First the good news, there's no longer any point in you eating broccoli."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"Why do people around here get so agitated about stuff like yoghurt?" "It's the culture of the organisation"

'Your generation should be more like that yogurt you eat. At lease that culture's active.'

"I sprinkle each bun with a little chia seed...you know...nature's super food."

Yogurt, of course, is highly cultured.

Crater Lake Annual Yogurt Guzzle! This year's flavor: Raspberry Marijuana.

"The good thing about you doing a daily 30 minute walk, is it's 30 minutes when you're not stuffing your face."

"Hmmm, not sure I trust that kale."

Wild life liberation front take 'live yoghurt' from shop.

'I guess it's OK for a guy to eat your yogurt during a game instead of drinking beer - but light yogurt?'