Anti-sports Gifts

'I don't think you actually like sports.'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

World Cup. Half Empty.

Please do not throw vials of steroids onto the field.

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."

"His number is the amount of payola he received to play basketball for his college."

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

Good parenting.

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

Spain trial for rigged soccer matches

'I can't decide which I'm least excited about...the royal wedding or the Olympics.'

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise in a car at a gym.

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

Learning to read body language, lesson one: 'Leave me alone!'

'I don't regard hunting as a sport.' 'Neither do I!'

'...You've got no game.'

"Personally, I liked this place better before it became a sports bar."

Ye Olde Book Shoppe

"Mum thinks smoking is anti-social!"

"Olympics? It's the first I've heard of the Olympics being on."

The 19th hole

Doping in Cycling.

"Is there one for sportsmanship?"

'You're in luck, Sir. . . we found the only television in the shop that won't show sports!'

"There's no need to be alarmed, Mr McNulty. It's quite normal for some boys to show no interest in football."

"I've always believed that running is for cowards."