Ethical Sports Gifts

"Is there one for sportsmanship?"

Spain trial for rigged soccer matches

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

Free Range Golfers

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

'Astonishing! I just used a compass to follow the moral course of our company!'

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

'There's more to life than winning. There's also testing negative for steroids.'

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"So I said 'Hey, not everybody likes jokes about shark-fin soup.' And? Oh, he apologized right away. Good! That was super-insensitive. No kidding! That's exactly what I said before I ate him."

"I'll be awhile, folks. We have a free-range chef and he's run off again."

"You can see by its smile that this halibut was humanely killed."

"We located our factory in your country because there is no word for leisure in your language."

'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'

World Cup. Half Empty.

Hall of Fame

Halal Meat Everywhere Shock!

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

'And remember: when introduced to the other team's captain, make direct eye contact and give a firm handshake...'

Listen up, team! There will be no trash talk. No harassing the refs. No throwing elbows. Understand? Yes, coach! Ok, kids! Go play! Coach.

Vegetarian Professor

Please do not throw vials of steroids onto the field.

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

Victim support

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"