Ethical Sports Enthusiast Gifts

World Cup. Half Empty.

'I don't regard hunting as a sport.' 'Neither do I!'

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

Others will fight for you

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

A day at the transgenic races

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"How should we divide the teams?"

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Gary turns 40.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."